television

‘Sharknado 3’ Recap: 17 Crazy- Cool Ways to Kill Flying Sharks

Sharknado 3 Recap: 17 Crazy- Cool Ways to Kill Flying Sharks

Finally SYFY unveiled the annual phenomenon that is Sharknado.

Watching it last night, it was clear that the draw for this movie is definitely NOT the talent (or the story line, or the characters because they all die just when we start to love them anyway).

Also there are so many celebrity cameos that after a while they didn’t even register on the excitement scale anymore. (Oh, that’s Ray Jay? Who cares???) So the only thing worthwhile to focus on was all the ways Fin, Nova and April found to kill the flying sharks.

All I can say is the creative juices were definitely flowing in the writers’ room. Here’s my list.

  1. Cut to bits with a golden chainsaw.
  2. Blown up with a grenade to the stomach.
  3. Bashed in with the bust of George Washington.
  4. Skewered with the American flag while mimicking the Marine Corps War Memorial.
  5. Sucked up by a Dyson.* (*product placement)
  6. Killed by Ann Coulter.
  7. Impaled by Katy Lee and Hoda’s wine bottles.
  8. Slashed with spinning blade of Benet’s killer Mascara.* (*Another product placement in the form of a sponsor commercial)
  9. Shot with a 78 gauge Benefit mascara shotgun.* (*Yet another product placement)
  10. Exploded by a self-destructing armored trailer.
  11. Crushed by a giant rolling metal Universal Studios Globe* (Seriously obvious what your trying to do here)
  12. Defeated by Reagan- Era Star Wars project. (GOP product placement?)
  13. Hacked to pieces with a light saber chainsaw.
  14. Burned up while re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere.
  15. Pierced through by a NASA parachute.
  16. Sliced by Tara Reed’s chainsaw prosthetic limb.
  17. Torn open by Finn and April’s newborn son.
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